He takes my bad and makes it good

My husband and I went through a HORRIBLE patch of time. Ok, a horrible 3 year patch of time when we were first married. We started out getting married while my husband's union was on strike. We were blending a family of 3 boys - mine was 5 and his 2 were 3 and 4. We all piled into my little house that I had bought when I was thinking it would be just me and my boy forever. And then, there was his ex-wife's reaction - which for the sake of my own sanity, I will not mention. Needless to say, with money tight, little boys running every which way and an angry woman meddling daily, it was pretty near impossible to be happy after that first week of wedded bliss.

We made it though and are on very solid ground now. We saw a FANTASTIC Christian marriage counselor and I found the best book of all for any woman that is married, but especially if she has any marital problems at all - The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle - don't wuss out at the title - it is much less pioneer than it sounds - seriously...I am the least likely woman to read a book like that.

So back in real time, my husband and I met up with his boys on their class trip to the zoo. Couple of things had to happen for me to get there. First, the ex-wife had to be not going because I try to steer clear of her at all costs. Second, I got my husband to go because everytime we have ever taken the kids to the zoo, he has a miserable time. No joke - every time. Third - we had to find the kids and as luck would have it, we had to run back to the car because I forgot the baby's juice and a van pulled up next to us with our boys in it. Super - now we are all together at the zoo, ready to have a swell day - life is good.

We go through the day and things are humming along just fine except that we haven't visited the Polar Bear (my second favorite - Hippos are first). So we're running up against the clock and we're hoofin' it over towards the bears and I cross paths with this woman who looks like a woman I used to volunteer with at the cat shelter, BUT I think it can't be her because we are in Milwaukee and she was in Madison last I heard and this woman has 3 babies and there's no way Linda, my girl from the shelter could have 3 babies. I think about asking if its her, but start to walk away - thinking I don't want to look stupid if its not her. Something inside my gut says "DO NOT WALK AWAY". So I ask the baby lady if her name is Linda and 3 seconds later, we're jumping and hugging and squeeling and I'm so glad I talked to her. We walk and chat a bit and catch up on the last 5 years which for both of us pretty much revolved around raising babies, kitties and the traumas of breast-feeding. We part ways and I'm just glowing - so happy I took the risk and talked to her.

On the way home, I kick myself and tell my husband I should have gotten her number or given her mine so we could talk later or grab some lunch sometime or something.

We were moving that weekend so we stopped at the new house to paint some more and I get a call on my cell phone. Its Linda. She got my number from the shelter and had to call me because our mutual friend had been talking to Linda about her marriage and some issues her and her husband were having and our friend had been telling her for months to call me because of how my marriage had turned around so well. So we were swapping stories and she wanted to know all about what had transpired to make my marriage so much better. I'm telling her about the book and the counseling and the prayers, etc and she says she's been praying and praying for an answer and I almost want to scream "He's working on it RIGHT NOW - Don't you see this?!?!" I happened to have a copy of the book on order from Amazon and told her I would send ot to her ASAP and I would pray for her and her husband.

I got off the phone and my husband and oldest son where asking who the heck I was talking to and I had to excuse myself and just cry - out loud - the kind you can't even try to hold in. All the sudden I saw how many coincidences had to happen for me to be able to talk to Linda that day - all the little bits and pieces that so perfectly came together. I saw how every argument, every bit of nastiness between my husband and I now had a purpose - when I talk to someone else about their marriage, I can sympathize because I have been there. Its easier and more believable for someone like me to tell people that their marriages can be saved - not only saved - but made GOOD. But I could never do that if we had been like the Brady Bunch. All of the sudden, all my suffering had PURPOSE. All the sudden, all the crying, all the arguements, all of it was turned around and used for His good. And what a priveledge to be able to bring that to someone else and to be able to offer that hope.