Keeping the Faith

Romans 8:28

"For we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose."

I have to belive this right now. This is all I've got - my only hope.

A friend of mine sent me an essay that a friend of hers wrote about stepping out of your hole - you know, the safe place where things are known and not scary and safe. There is safety in continuity, but no growth. To step up when my Father says "Go" is terribly frightening. I find myself questioning whether or not He really said that or meant that or knew what he was talking about when He put this on my heart. Did He remember that this is a terrible time for me to pursue this? Of course - He is omnipotent - He knows it all.

So tday, I'm kind of at that precipace - the point at which you've strapped yourself into the rollercoaster and it's too late to ask to get off now and I could be terrified. My sense of logic tells me to be terrified. My comfort zone is screaming at me. And yet, I'm pressing forward - against all worldly logic. With only an ancient promise that He is looking out for me. That he would not bring harm to me. I look forward to praising Him when he comes through with a miracle that I never saw coming.

Good vs. Perfect

Wha-shew! Crazy day today at work and with the kidlets. Had a great phone conversation with my dear friend, Janna who owns and runs Touched by a Paw - a local no-kill cat rescue. It is seriously so energizing to talk with godly friends.

We were chatting about the sermons we've been listening to lately. I gotta tell you, my new most favorite is the Be Ye Perfect track off The Others I collection from Relevant Revolution Sermon Jams. Sermon Jams themselves were my new most favorite thing a few months ago. Seriously fed my hunger and I can listen to them all day. But Be Ye Perfect is a GREAT on for folks like me and Janna - here's why...

I am a good person (not even bragging). I am a rescuer - can't say no to helping anyone. Repeatedly get trampled because I think no one is really mean or malicious. I am pretty charitible and volunteer, donate blood - whatever - I am here to make God look good so I am forever trying to let that shine. God has blessed me with lots of energy so its not even like I go out of my way - its really just my very nature.

The theme of this sermon is to NOT do what is good - for the sake of doing what is perfect and ordained by God. He gives the example of a kid he was mentoring picking up a hitch-hiker to witness to. The guy didn't get it and the kid was upset and asking what he did wrong. And the mentor tells him he did a GOOD thing picking up a hitch-hiker. But it was his good idea - not God's. What if God had meant for him to pick up another person 5 miles further down the road, but the kid had filled that guy's seat by picking up the first person he saw.

WOW! That spoke to me. I need to watch this in myself. I am usually running myself slightly ragged trying to do for everyone. One of my best friends told me to say no - "Just because you can doesn't mean you should" Hmmmm. I suppose its sinking in a bit now.

The guy goes on to say that any words out of his mouth that are not from God are all in vain. YIKE! I talk a lot and kind of surprised myself recently when I heard words that I didn't think I could speak coming out. THAT was God! I asked a complete stranger if I could pray for her - out of no where. Allison would be afraid to say that to someone for fear of being called a Bible Thumper or worse. God put those words out there for me and I wasn't afraid and she said yes and as it turned out she was very in need of prayer.

At best, I am good. At worst, God if PERFECT.

Catherine's Daughter

This morning I donated blood and got chatting with the girl that did my paperwork about my kids, etc. She said she didn't know how I could handle 4 kids when she had a hard time with just one. I asked her how old her child was and she flipped over her name badge to show me a picture of her 5 year old daughter.

We talked a little bit more and she told me that for a long time she struggled with infertility and then she started a savings account with her leftover change for her baby. She was not pregnant at this time. She said she had over $700 in her baby account from just her spare change and she decided to start buying baby things as they were on sale. So she was picking up all sorts of clearanced baby items at Wal-mart. Her own mother told her she was crazy, but Catherine said she KNEW God would bless her with a baby. Time went by and she had nearly everything she needed for a baby and God blessed her with a baby girl. She said she knew it was because of her faith in Him - that she knew he heard her prayers. Her only regret? She said she should have tacked an "S" on the end of that prayer for babies. ;-)

I'm not sure how long she waited for her daughter. She told me she had now worked for the blood center for 23 years so it would seem like she had her at least in her mid-thirties.

Brittany

My son wanted to go to camp a little further from home this summer so we sent him to Northern Grace Bible Camp in Gillette, WI. I drove him there and back last week with the baby and found that 7.5 hours in the car was a bit much so to pick him up, we decided to drive up Friday night and stay at a hotel, pick him up the next morning, visit some friends that have moved up there and then head home - just to break up the driving.

We stayed at this dive hotel which we fondly re-named the Oompa-loompa suites. The bathroom feature extreme tiny-ness, which I suppose was great because we were travelling with kids. The bathtub was seriously 12 inches high and the sink could have easily been mistaken for a urinal. Seriously, I'm 5'1" and had to bend over to wash my hands.

Since it wasn't a four star place, I decided to scope out the free breakfast before dragging the whole family downstairs instead of to McDonald's. There is one other person in the breakfast room and the continental breakfast looks like it's some Little Debbies, Froot Loops, and your choice of warm milk or warm orange drink. I must have had some sort of look on my face because the other guest started a conversation with "Yeah...there's not much here."

We talked a little bit. I have an uncanny ability to either find people who are willing to tell me their life story in 3 minutes or I just am very approachable in the life story kind of way. It turns out this girl was living at the Oompa-loompa suites after being kicked out of their apartment. She was 18 years old and 3 months pregnant. Having once been 18 and 3 months pregnant, I felt like I HAVE to encourage this girl. All of the sudden, out of my mouth comes "Can I pray for you?" YIKE! Where was that from?!?! I am NOT a church lady - I mean, I tease my church friends that we are church ladies, but we are sooo not church ladies and here I am pulling a church lady in the breakfast room of the Oompa-loompa Inn. She accepted and we've been keeping in touch through email. She's found a more permanent place to live and she's hanging in there so far.

He takes my bad and makes it good

My husband and I went through a HORRIBLE patch of time. Ok, a horrible 3 year patch of time when we were first married. We started out getting married while my husband's union was on strike. We were blending a family of 3 boys - mine was 5 and his 2 were 3 and 4. We all piled into my little house that I had bought when I was thinking it would be just me and my boy forever. And then, there was his ex-wife's reaction - which for the sake of my own sanity, I will not mention. Needless to say, with money tight, little boys running every which way and an angry woman meddling daily, it was pretty near impossible to be happy after that first week of wedded bliss.

We made it though and are on very solid ground now. We saw a FANTASTIC Christian marriage counselor and I found the best book of all for any woman that is married, but especially if she has any marital problems at all - The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle - don't wuss out at the title - it is much less pioneer than it sounds - seriously...I am the least likely woman to read a book like that.

So back in real time, my husband and I met up with his boys on their class trip to the zoo. Couple of things had to happen for me to get there. First, the ex-wife had to be not going because I try to steer clear of her at all costs. Second, I got my husband to go because everytime we have ever taken the kids to the zoo, he has a miserable time. No joke - every time. Third - we had to find the kids and as luck would have it, we had to run back to the car because I forgot the baby's juice and a van pulled up next to us with our boys in it. Super - now we are all together at the zoo, ready to have a swell day - life is good.

We go through the day and things are humming along just fine except that we haven't visited the Polar Bear (my second favorite - Hippos are first). So we're running up against the clock and we're hoofin' it over towards the bears and I cross paths with this woman who looks like a woman I used to volunteer with at the cat shelter, BUT I think it can't be her because we are in Milwaukee and she was in Madison last I heard and this woman has 3 babies and there's no way Linda, my girl from the shelter could have 3 babies. I think about asking if its her, but start to walk away - thinking I don't want to look stupid if its not her. Something inside my gut says "DO NOT WALK AWAY". So I ask the baby lady if her name is Linda and 3 seconds later, we're jumping and hugging and squeeling and I'm so glad I talked to her. We walk and chat a bit and catch up on the last 5 years which for both of us pretty much revolved around raising babies, kitties and the traumas of breast-feeding. We part ways and I'm just glowing - so happy I took the risk and talked to her.

On the way home, I kick myself and tell my husband I should have gotten her number or given her mine so we could talk later or grab some lunch sometime or something.

We were moving that weekend so we stopped at the new house to paint some more and I get a call on my cell phone. Its Linda. She got my number from the shelter and had to call me because our mutual friend had been talking to Linda about her marriage and some issues her and her husband were having and our friend had been telling her for months to call me because of how my marriage had turned around so well. So we were swapping stories and she wanted to know all about what had transpired to make my marriage so much better. I'm telling her about the book and the counseling and the prayers, etc and she says she's been praying and praying for an answer and I almost want to scream "He's working on it RIGHT NOW - Don't you see this?!?!" I happened to have a copy of the book on order from Amazon and told her I would send ot to her ASAP and I would pray for her and her husband.

I got off the phone and my husband and oldest son where asking who the heck I was talking to and I had to excuse myself and just cry - out loud - the kind you can't even try to hold in. All the sudden I saw how many coincidences had to happen for me to be able to talk to Linda that day - all the little bits and pieces that so perfectly came together. I saw how every argument, every bit of nastiness between my husband and I now had a purpose - when I talk to someone else about their marriage, I can sympathize because I have been there. Its easier and more believable for someone like me to tell people that their marriages can be saved - not only saved - but made GOOD. But I could never do that if we had been like the Brady Bunch. All of the sudden, all my suffering had PURPOSE. All the sudden, all the crying, all the arguements, all of it was turned around and used for His good. And what a priveledge to be able to bring that to someone else and to be able to offer that hope.